Go Cubs Go

My dad was a year old in 1945, so it's not quite true that he went his life without seeing the Cubs in the World Series, but I feel confident in saying that he didn't remember it.  And of course, the Cubs rather famously didn't get it done that year.

Throughout my relationship with my dad, baseball was the constant.  When we first moved to Pennsylvania, Dad got a Sunday season ticket package for a few years, which ended up including trips to the NLCS and World Series in 1983.  When I was a teenager, we usually stayed closer to home, going to dozens of Reading Phillies games each summer.  And the last trip I ever took with my dad and my brother was a long baseball weekend out to Cleveland and Pittsburgh.

When we found out he was sick, we were literally days away from leaving for a family reunion and trip to Wrigley, which obviously we ended up missing.  I've always secretly wished he'd been able to wait to get his diagnosis, just so we could have one last memory.  But it wasn't to be.

I know I'm only one of many sons that are thinking of their fathers today, who weren't here to see the Cubs finally win the World Series. I honestly don't know what he would have made of it; he was never a demonstrative person, and between you and me I think he was more of a Phillies fan for the last few years of his life, having watched the core of those great recent Phillies teams develop in Reading.  But I know he would have been happy, and would have loved that game.  More than anything, my dad just liked to watch baseball.  He was just as happy going to Reading as he was going to a Major League park (probably moreso, when you consider the out of pocket costs).  He liked to remind me that he'd sometimes take me to watch slo-pitch softball down the street.  He was never a diehard, because to him the result wasn't what mattered, it was the fun of watching the game.

Earlier this year, when it was clear that this could be a special year, I made it a point to go and see the Cubs when they came through Philadelphia.  I took my daughter with me, even though she's not much of a fan, and doesn't pay attention, and can't sit still, and wants something to eat every two innings, and it meant I couldn't keep score, and we'd be leaving before the game is over, and all those other things that probably bugged my dad when I was nine.  But she loved it, wearing the Reading Phillies hat her grandfather got for her at her first ever baseball game years ago.  I hope I can spend the rest of my life telling her that she saw the Cubs the year they finally won the World Series after 108 years.  After all, that's why sports matter.  They bind us together, as family, friends, and community. They give us common ground to relate to one another, even during the hard times.  And they allow us to stay connected, even to loved ones that have long since passed.

I Know I Shouldn't be Surprised, But...

... I am surprised- shocked, really, and horrified- that the NFL is carrying on with tomorrow's Kansas City Chiefs- Carolina Panthers game in the wake of Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher murdering his girlfriend and then committing suicide in front of Chiefs coach Romeo Crennel and GM Scott Pioli.  I know that the NFL has never been known for its' sensitivity, but this strikes a new low.  Rather then allow an obviously distraught team(not to mention community) a day or two to collect themselves, the Chiefs will take the field a little more then 24 hours after one of their teammates orphaned his three- month old son daughter.  Crennel will have to try and lead his troops through a game with visions of one of them ending his life.  And why?  Because this is a heavyweight game between two playoff-bound titans.  Oh, nope, not that: the Panthers are 3-8, the Chiefs the worst team in the league at 1-10.  But, you see, this game has ramifications.  What if the game were cancelled, and the Denver Broncos miss out on a first-round bye because the Chiefs are only 1-14, and their strenghth of schedule is affected?  Wouldn't that be a tragedy?

No, of course it fucking wouldn't.

So now we know what's more important then football: nothing.  Not even death.  I'm sure that Crennel and the Chiefs players want to play... but they shouldn't.  Just like in every other profession, your place of work would be closed the day after a tragedy, since it's still a crime scene, for god's sake. The NFL has to be the voice of reason here.

In 1963, the week after John Kennedy was killed, the NFL played its' full slate of games to massive national criticism.  Legendary commishioner Pete Rozelle called it the greatest regret of his career.  Well, congratulations, Roger Goddell: by allowing a meaningless game to be played the day after an employee kills himself on your property, you're finally in Rozelle's class.

As Good an Explination as Any

The other day, my (soon to be) five year old daughter asked me why the Eagles are so bad.  I said I didn't know.  She then said "maybe the Eagles are so bad because Dr. Doofenshmirtz zapped them with an inator."  I said that makes as much sense as any other explanation.

Someone Needs to Get Jonathan Papelbon to Paris Immediately

Here's a quote from new Phillies closer Jonathan Papelbon regarding his new home town:

"Philadelphia has a cool feel to it, man,'' Papelbon says. "It's a vibe that the city produces. It makes you feel like you are in Paris. I've never been to Paris, but I've seen it in a lot of movies. I think [Philadelphia] is going to be a great place to live."

Look... I love Philadelphia.  I agree that it's got a cool feel, and is a great place to live.  But... Paris?  PARIS?!  That's just insane.  I get that you're trying to endear yourself to your new city, but let's keep it realistic, okay?

I do like the "it reminds me of this place... I've never been there" aspect of his quote, though.

Eagles Playoff Madness

As I write this, it's just a little after 7 PM on week 15 of the NFL season.  And I'm not watching Eagles/Jets, or Tom Brady vs. Tim Tebow.  I'm more interested in the other two games (Raiders/Lions and Browns/Cards, respectively) because at this point those two games actually have more bearing on the Eagles playoff chances.  Because, while fiddling around with ESPN's awesome Playoff Machine, I've determined that the Eagles can actually still win the last wild card if:

-They win out;
-The Bears loose out;
-The Lions loose out;
-The Seahawks loose out;
-The Cards loose this week, loose next week, then beat the Seahawks in week 17.

A ridiculous series of events, granted.  And, as I write this, the Lions have just taken a 28-27 lead on the Raiders with :35 seconds to play (I knew the Raiders should have gone for two when they went up 26-14! I knew it!); and the Cardinals are in overtime.  So the most likely scenario for the Eagles remains:

-Beat the Cowboys and the Redskins;
-Watch the Giants loose to the Jets and beat the Cowboys.

Somehow, I've got a feeling that just might happen.  Why not? It's been that kind of year.  I'd feel a lot better about this if the Jets didn't look like complete dogshit this week against the Eagles, but the Giants played like farts against the Redskins, so who knows how that one will go.  Should be kind of cool, though, to watch the two New York teams play each other with basically the season on the line. Riot either way!

...And it's official: Lions over the Raiders.  You know, I chose to illegally stream switch over to that Cards/Browns game because I thought the Lions game was basically over.  Damn.  And the Cards won anyway.  So, really, you can just ignore this post.  I'll be back with your regularly scheduled Minimate customs update sometime this week.

Penn State

If you live outside of Pennsylvania, I don't think you can quite fathom how omnipresent Penn State University is in our lives.  Pennsylvania is a funny place, its' two large cities living at opposite ends of the state, but in reality a world apart.  Here, in the east, we think of New York, Washington DC, and the rest of the I-95 corridor as our neighbors and rivals, while in the west it's Ohio and West Virginia and the rest of the Rust Belt.  The Phillies play in the NL East, the Pirates in the NL Central, and nobody seems to think that's a lost opportunity.  If you told most people here that Pittsburgh was in a different time zone, I don't think any one would question that.

We come together in two ways: statewide elections and Penn State.  Not just Penn State football either; you can't live in Pennsylvania and not have a connection to Penn State, even if you're not a graduate.  My brother-in-law went to Penn State, as did my oldest friend, and my stepfather is a professor in the Penn State system.  That's just the way it is.  Penn State is, literally and figuratively, at the center of the state I've called home for at least 30 of my 37 years.

So it's not just the Penn State community that's shaken by the scandal that broke this weekend, it's Pennsylvania, period.  I've been able to think about much else, and I've been to State College once in my life.   It's been a whirlwind of a week; it's hard to believe that, just a few weeks ago, Joe Paterno was being celebrated for becoming college football's all-time winningest coach in what turned out to be his last game.  Just think about that for a second.  Here's a quote, from SI.com college football writer Stewart Mandel, from the story linked above: "In a sport filled with misguided, misbehaved or flat-out devious individuals, JoePa remains our moral compass, as he has for more than five decades."  What a difference a week makes.

When the story first broke, late Saturday afternoon, my wife was out of town attending a wedding.  When she got home that evening, and I told her about it, I speculated that this might be big enough to bring down Joe Paterno himself.  Then, it seemed far-fetched, to think that the public career of the most revered figure in Pennsylvania this side of Ben Franklin could come to such a sudden, shocking, disturbing end.  But it took less then a week for that prophecy to become fulfilled, and, as the details of the timeline of events covered in the grand jury probe into former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky's alleged pedophilia were fully digested, it's hard to say such drastic action isn't warrented.

I don't have a whole lot to say about the Sandusky case itself; what is there to say, really?  I do want to say, though, that much of the criticism that has been leveled against then graduate assistant (and now Penn State assistant football coach) Mike McQueary, allegedly caught Sandusky in the act of of an unspeakable crime; many question his courage, and his manhood, and claim that they would have acted differently.    And, quite honestly, I don't think that's true.  Most of us, when faced with trauma, go into shock; we act, or fail to act, not in the way we would imagine.  Most of us are not heroes, and we certainly don't walk into a room expecting to find a horrible crime and prepared to act.  So, yes, while the heroic thing to do would have been to jump to action and drag Sandusky off that boy, it's not necessarily the human thing to do.

But McQueary was absolutely, positively right in going to his immediate superior, Joe Paterno.  Moreover, Paterno was right in referring the matter to his superiors, even if you subscribe to the belief that, at Penn State, Joe Paterno had no superiors.  There are mechanisms within institutions such as this to handle such things, and this is why.  After that, well, there's no question that that mechanism failed to an astonishing degree.  It's mind-boggling to think that the university could have conducted a "thorough internal investigation" without involving the campus police. And you have to wonder how anyone could speak to McQueary about the matter and come to the conclusion that this was just a case of "horsing around" gone to far.  And, yes, when Paterno and especially McQueary learned that the university powers that be were content to let the matter lie, that's when they should have taken matters into their own hands and gone to the police independently.  There's simply no excuse for agreeing to what is, essentially, a cover-up.  Even if one removes morality from the situation for a moment (and one shouldn't), didn't anyone stop to think that the ramifications of inattention now would be that much worse down the line?

But no one's actions make sense in this case.  It doesn't make much sense that, upon one of them catching Sandusky in a similar act in the showers in 1998, the custodial staff decided it was best to keep it to themselves.  It doesn't make sense that, when Sandusky admitted on tape to taking a shower with a boy on tape to his mother, the Center County District Attorney at the time decided not to press charges.  Even more shocking, it wasn't a decade after those accusations that the charity Sandusky founded and used as essentially a locator service for his victims even decided to cut ties with the man.  How could so many people have failed so spectacularly for so long?

While most of us have instantly drawn a connection to the massive coverup of similar abuses within the Catholic Church, I'm also uncomfortably reminded of Chris Benoit, the WWE wrestler who murdered his wife and son before taking his own life.  There aren't a lot of parallels, really; Sandusky's crimes were carried out over a period of years, and, if not outright covered up, were at the very least allowed to continue unabated.  Benoit, meanwhile, simply snapped without much warning.  But the shock and the horror are the same, and the sense that nothing the man touched will be the same from that day forward.  Because Benoit was not just a wrestler, but a champion and mentor to his peers.  Chris Jericho still calls him the most important person in his career; watching Jericho tell his story on his recent WWE dvd, there's a clear hole in the narrative where Benoit belongs.  But the WWE, as best they can, have tried to erase Benoit from their narrative, as is their right.

Penn State won't be so lucky.  Because football is real, and wrestling is not, it's not so easy to dismiss the contributions of a monster.  I thought that this piece from State College native Michael Weintrab really encapsulated the devastation among the Penn State community, particularly this passage regarding the 1986 national title game, in which Sandusky's defense was the key component in upsetting Miami: "I have the original video recording of it in my living room, and I have thought several times over the past couple of days about taking a hammer to it."

This is, unquestionably, the worst scandal in American academic history, and will forever taint the school, much the way Kent State University will forever be associated with the events of May 4, 1970.  I don't really know how the university recovers; forget athletes, I can't imagine why any prospective student would want to go to State College now.  As for the athletic program, more then just a clean sweep of personnel is needed; they need to blow up the damn buildings.  Can you imagine having to use one of those showers now?

I'm not sure that I agree with the decision to remove Paterno now, rather then at the end of the year.  While I don't absolve him of blame, and I understand the need to move on now, doing so shifts the narrative from being about Jerry Sandusky, his crimes, and his victims, to Joe Paterno.  Yes, if Paterno remained with the team, the rest of the football season would be a circus.  But it will be a circus regardless.  I find it interesting that the attorney for the alleged victims criticized the Board of Trustee's actions, saying in essence "they don't want to be held responsible for ending Joe Paterno's career".

Of course, as I'm sure Paterno would readily admit, only he is responsible for his career ending in this manner.  It's a shame that the legacy and reputation of a man that has accomplished so much, and for so many, should end so sordidly.  But, on the other hand, as victims go, it's pretty far down the list.

EDIT: I don't want to undercut the seriousness of this whole thing with something trivial, but I just can't resist: Ashton Kutcher, somehow learning that Joe Paterno has been fired but oblivious to the circumstances, proves himself to be, definitively, the universe's biggest idiot.

ANOTHER EDIT: Sara Ganim, a crime reporter for the Patriot-News, had provided amazing coverage of the story; today, she provides a timeline of the entire case, and all the spots along the way where Sandusky was somehow able to avoid scrutiny and continue  to have access to young boys.  An astonishing amount of failures by people that are trained to recognize these signs and how to act.  And yet, for most people, this case has somehow become a referendum on Joe Paterno.

Good Grief

I suppose there's two positive things to take out of last night's Phillies/ Cardinals game:

1. Ryan Howard didn't become the second player in history to end two straight postseasons for his team with a strikeout (Alex Rodriguez became the first Thursday night).

2. This Phillies grounded out to short with such clockwork precision, inning after inning, that the game moved along at a rapid pace, meaning we all got our misery out of the way at a relatively decent hour.

And that's about it, as the Phillies, the best team in baseball all summer, laid down and died as meekly as a mouse.  If you only watched the first two batters of the game, you literally saw all you needed to see, as the the game's only run was scored in the first five minutes.  Roy Halliday settled into the game rather nicely after that, getting out of a jam to hold the Cardinals to only that one run, and really only allowing one other scoring threat, in the top of the eighth, when the Cardinals loaded the bases with one out.  But Chris Carpenter totally mastered the Phillies' "hitters", with shocking ease.  The Phillies managed one threat all night, when they put men on first and third with two outs.  Raul Ibanez, hopefully playing his last game as a Phillie, seemingly changed the narrative with a deep drive to right field, but it died on the warning track.  Chase Utley would duplicate Ibanez' near-heroics with a deep drive off the first pitch in the ninth, and Carpenter cruised to a humiliating shutout.

I think we all know by now that the only reason the Cardinals are even in the playoffs is because the Phillies swept the collapsing Atlanta Braves to end the season.  So, in a way, the Phillies scripted their own doom by opening a door for a much more powerful team.  But that shouldn't have mattered, as this Phillies team- built around postseason baseball's most precious commodity, starting pitching- was supposed to roll over anyone in their way.  But this series exposed fully the Phillies' aging lineup, and so-so starts by Cliff Lee and Roy Oswalt were too much to overcome.

What to make of Ryan Howard?  In the first two games of the series, when he collected his only two hits, he looked locked in, ready to carry the team on his back.  And then... I don't even know.  Just an utter, baffling collapse.  Howard's playoff struggles have always come about because of his vulnerability to lefthanded pitching, but in these last three games the Cardinals didn't even need to bother forcing lefty/lefty matchups.  I've long thought Howard was underappreciated, with his great crime being essentially not being Albert Pujols, but what is there to say after this?

Going into the season, I had a bad feeling about this Phillies team, overreliant as it was on an aging core.  But the Phillies cruised to 100 wins, and the World Series was theirs to loose.  Well, it's lost.  It should be noted that, in the last four seasons, the Phillies have gone from winning the World Series to loosing in their return, to loosing in the NLCS, to losing now in the Division Round.  If this pattern of attrition continues, well, we won't be seeing them in the playoffs at all next year. 

Okay, Andy Reid, Michael Vick: the ball's in your court.  We need a pick-me-up.  Man, we're really screwed, aren't we?

So, How Exactly Does One Pronounce "Nnamdi Asomugha"?

Okay, so twice today I've gone to SI.com and learned that a Philly team made a big move.  Just a few minutes ago, I saw that the Phillies had pulled off the long-discussed trade for Houston Astros outfielder Hunter Pence, which seems like a fine move.  They gave up some good prospects, but ones far down in their system.  This is a move the Phillies needed to do, because adding a right handed bat to their lineup may be the key to this being a truly special year.  We all know that this post season (in the NL at least) will come down to pitching, and the Phillies have an edge over just about everybody, but the Phillies stark vulnerability to lefthanded pitching is too big an Achilles heel to carry.  Pence isn't a huge run producer, but he's a multi-tooled young player who'll be a big upgrade to the corner outfield spots.  Even better, they didn't do something foolish like trade young Dominick Brown, still considered by most a top prospect.  I entered this season with some reservations about Brown, but that was as a replacement for Jayson Werth.  As a replacement for Raul Ibanez, I've got no problem with the kid.

But, anyway, that's not even the really big news around these parts.  Nope, the really big news is that the Eagles, from seemingly out of nowhere, swooped in (yeah, I'm making that pun too ) and stole the best free agent in football, cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha.  The best part?  They snatched him out from under the Cowboys!  Ha! 

Anyone that's followed the Eagles for awhile shouldn't be all that surprised.  Yes, they just acquired a corner,  Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, in the trade for onetime starter Kevin Kolb (what was my prediction for him last year?... oh yes. *cough*).  But Andy Reid has always valued corners: he signed Troy Vincent when he had Bobby Taylor and Al Harris (both pretty good corners); he drafted Sheldon Brown and Lito Sheppard (in the same year!) when Vincent and Taylor were still one of the best corner tandems in the league; and he signed Asante Samuel when Brown and Sheppard were still making Pro Bowls.  Last year, when the Eagles had basically one good corner (Samuel) was the aberration.  Because the Eagles play such an attacking style of defense, they rely on their corners even more then most teams, and last year, they sucked. 

They don't now.  Suddenly, the team's biggest flaw has become (perhaps) its' strength.  The pass defense was the big flaw in last year's team; it's not too big a stretch to say that the secondary kept the Eagles from the Super Bowl.  Well, that's how we roll in Philly these days.  We want something, we go get it.  Well, except for the Sixers.  Ignore them.

Right now, this feels a lot like the last time the Eagles went out and got the best player available at their biggest position of need.  You might remember him?  Wore number 81?  Well, he was kind of quiet.  Anyway, that worked out pretty well... for awhile.  If memory serves, that was also the year they signed Jevon Kearse, which didn't really work out all that well, but was still a move that signaled the Eagles were in it to win it.  When does the season start again?

Man, what a day.  The only thing that could make it better would be if they brought back Brian Dawkins....

Finally, a Dallas Sports Victory I Can Get Behind

I watched exactly one half of an NBA game this year: LeBron James' much hyped return to Cleveland.  And, since it was on opposite either an Eagles game or Phillies playoff game(can't remember which), I didn't even watch all that much of it.  Still, that's more then I'd watched over the last several years, certainly during the regular season.  Basketball, particularly the NBA version, just doesn't do it for me as a spectator sport.  I find the game tedious, the league and its' players unlikable.  Even during the Jordan Era, when I cut my teeth as a sports fan, I was never particularly swayed by the charms of the NBA.

So it's curious that I found myself invested in these just-concluded NBA playoffs without actually watching any of the games (until last night, when I caught the fourth quarter of Game 6 of the finals).  Part of that interest is because the NBA had, this year, achieved a weird equilibrium between being wide open and dominated by a handful of teams.  A distinctive class system emerged: you had the elite teams, six or eight stacked superteams that all looked like they could go all the way; the middle class, the decent teams with dreams of filling out the playoff field and not much else; and the rest.  Never, in my lifetime at least, have you seen a sport quite so top-heavy as the NBA this year.

Of course, interest in the NBA was driven largely this year by the emergence of a new villain: the Miami Heat.  And I, certainly, was just as interested in anybody in watching them fall.  What's curious about the Heat (and, specifically, LeBron James) is that they don't relish the role of villain the way others have.  Most teams, and players, that have engendered such negative feelings have relished their black hat, but the Heat haven't quite gotten things figured out.  LeBron might not have figured out how to be Michael Jordan, but he sure as hell doesn't have a clue how to be Dennis Rodman.

What's really interesting about these finals is the team cast in the role of National Last Hope: the Dallas Mavericks.  I think we'd all relegated them into the category of perpetual bridesmaid, that weird subclass of elite teams that, year after year, somehow come up short.  In the NBA, you've always had an abnormally large group.  I think we all just assumed that Dirk Nowitski's Mavs would join Reggie Miller's Pacers, Pat Ewing's Knicks, Karl Malone's Jazz, Chris Webber's Kings, and Allen Iverson's Sixers as fondly remembered, but ultimately fruitless, teams of unfulfilled greatness.  Suddenly, there's hope for every team that's been so close, but yet so far.  Yes, in the Mavericks' victory I somehow find an omen for the 2011 Philadelphia Eagles.

People want to look at the Mavericks defeat of the Heat as a triumph of good versus evil; I don't, if only because, in my experience, evil wins more often then not in the NBA (exibit A: how many rings does Kobe Bryant have?).  But that's certainly a compelling storyline, so I guess we'll stick with that.

Twitter is my Super Bowl MVP

So my Super Bowl Sunday began with this:

The Miracle at the New Meadowlands

Haven't seen this yet?  Then watch it, because it's fucking awesome:



I love Joe Buck's call:  "Gets a block! Are you kidding!"  

Banes of My Existence: Joe Theismann

Joe Theismann is the absolute worst football color commentator I've ever heard. He was a key cog in what was, year after year, the most dreadful announcing team ever: the ESPN Sunday Night Football crew, with Mike Patrick and, later, Paul McGuire. Paul Zimmerman, the great Sports Illustrated football writer, used to rank the NFL announce teams every year, and he railed against these clowns for year. I don't think they ever managed a star (out of a five star system), and I don't recall anyone ever expressing disagreement. Simply put, Joe Theismann makes a broadcast unlistenable.

He was finally put out to pasture, after one year on Monday Night Football. And no one outside of Joe Theismann missed him for one bleeping second. But, inexplicably, the NFL Network added him to the pretty solid team of Bob Papa and Matt Millen, and the result has been sadly predictable. Imagine if FEMA decided to give Mike Brown another shot, and you'll get the idea.

Anyway, I wanted to share a few nuggets from tonight's Eagles-Texans game:

• Talking about a Texans receiver whom had just made a catch on second down: "I wouldn't be surprised if they go back to him right here." This was said as the receiver was shown heading to the sidelines.
• After an Eagles sack: "Well, that's what happens when you send more then they can block. [Brief pause.] This time, it's only four."
• Seconds before the referee announces an offensive holding call, said confidently: "This'll be defensive holding".
• On Houston star receiver Andre Johnson, late in the game: "The Eagles have completely taken Andre Johnson out of the second half of this game. He had the one catch along the sideline for about 7 yards, but that's it". Johnson's second half stats to that point: 3 catches for 58 yards, including a 31 yarder. As if to pound the point home, NFL Network posted his stats to that point: 4 catches, 100 yards.
  

Theismann is the classic example of a dumb guy that thinks he's smart, and tries to prove it over and over. Oh, I almost forgot, my favorite Joe Theismann factoid! Joe's second wife, Jeanne, caught him in an affair and confronted him. As she told the court during their divorce proceedings: ''he said, and I quote, 'God wants Joe Theismann to be happy.' ''

Good Grief

The only loss in baseball history more excruciating, I think, must have involved Charlie Brown. Seriously, what the fuck just happened?

I Made a Quiz-- MLB Game 7 Winning Pitchers

In honor (though after last night, I don't know that I want to be honoring anything about baseball) of the MLB playoffs, I whipped up a little quiz: MLB postseason game 7 winning pitchers. This is a pretty hard quiz; I made it, and I think I'd do terribly on it. But it seemed like a fun idea. Hopefully, I'll be updating this quiz with the name "Cole Hamels" in a few days.

Can you name the winning pitcher for each game 7 in MLB postseason history? - sporcle

I've Been Called Out

Yes, it's true: I picked the Minnesota Twins to reach the World Series. Which means I picked them to beat the Yankees. Which not only did they manage to not do, they managed to do so in the lamest way possible (non-Cincinnati Reds division). Yeah, this one's on me. I made this pick because I thought that the Twins had added some very nice players to the mix this year (JJ Hardy, Orlando Hudson, and my man Jim Thome) and had finally closed the talent gap with the Yankees. Plus, I thought (and still think) that the Yankees are not as strong as they were last year: their rotation remains a question mark after Sabathia (no matter how well Petite and Hughes handled the Twins), and they let go two of last year's heroes in Matsui and Damon. And Jeter officially sucks now, don't forget that.

But I knew the Twins were fucked shortly before game 2 began, when I was watching the TBS pregame, and Craig Sager reported all these little things the Twins were doing to deviate their routines. Because that said to me that they had let their failures against the Yankees into their heads, and that they had bought into all this Yankee mystique bullshit, and that they certainly weren't going to win that night, and probably wouldn't win the entire series.

After watching what's happened to the Twins, and the Reds, and the Braves, I can't help but wonder if the geniality of fans in places outside of the northeast is really for the best. I've read several things about Brooks Conrad, the Braves infielder whose defensive miscues greatly contributed to his team's elimination, and they talk about how supportive the fans are of him, and how they gave him a loud ovation when he pinch hit last night, and that's nice and all, but... dude made eight errors in seven games. You know that, if he were a Phillie, or a Yankee, or a Met, or a Red Sox, there'd be no gentle soothing ovation. Maybe in ten years we'd remember what we liked about this guy. But not now.

Things are just different here. Look, Donovan McNabb threw for over 300 yards and three touchdowns in a Super Bowl his team lost by three points, and people still talk about it as if it were one of the all-time worst big game performances. So perhaps there is something to this notion that playing in these places where trying your best just isn't good enough, because we can all try our best, but you're the professional, dammit. You ain't paid to try. Maybe that gives you the killer instinct needed to take advantage of your opponents mistakes, and the confident swagger that, sometimes, lets you win a game before it's even played.

Whatever. I just know I'm not picking against the Yankees again... until the Phillies get them, that is.

Well, it's not the Reds

Yeah, yeah, I know, it's been a while. Working on some things, and should have some fun posts up soon. But I just wanted to jump in here, because a Sportscenter promo on Monday Night Football just now stuck in my craw. Stuart Scott, from the Soldier Field sideline, pops up to remind us to stay tuned for Sportscenter after the game where they'll tell us "which team just clinched their division... for the fourth straight year". Jaysus. If the answer's going to be so damn obvious, why ask the question?

This is the kind of thing that gets me yelling at the TV, which Hillary thinks is hysterical.

Oh yeah, it's the Phillies, by the way.

Commencing Quarterback Controversy in 3...2...

...now.

Well, that was something, huh? The Kevin Kolb era got off to about the worst start imaginable: he sucked, got hurt, and his backup was great in rallying the team against a superior opponent. And now he gets to spend the season looking over his shoulder, and we all are going to wonder if Vick isn't the answer. The Eagles, at least offensively, didn't belong on the same field with the Green Bay Packers in the first half. Under Vick, they looked like a different team. It's a unique situation, in which the backup is not only more accomplished then the starter, but still in his prime. Kolb really has no window for growing pains. Not in this city, at least.

The defense looked good, though, all things considered; those things being often dealing with a short field due to poor special teams play, and having to be on the field every two minutes or so in the first half. But they got consistent pressure on Aaron Rogers without having to blitz on every play, which was a big problem last year, and forced him into several mistakes. But they slumped noticeably when Stewart Bradley went out, and I still think they need another cornerback. It's hard to read too much into this game, because the Packers are very, very good. Next week gets easier, against the Lions, but they won't be a pushover.

Oh, and Donovan McNabb is 1-0. He wasn't great, but good enough. The Cowboys sure don't look like a Super Bowl contender, though. Due to the quirky scheduling yesterday I was able to watch all four NFC East teams, and the division sure looks wide open. The Giants, at times, looked like the same group that fell apart last year, but to their credit they came out strong at halftime and ran over an inferior opponent. Competent quarterback play, in this case meaning NOT throwing three interceptions in the end zone, probably would have been enough to beat them, though. A lesson the Eagles certainly reinforced, and would do well to remember.

The Football Post for which I Could Not Think of a Name

For the past, I dunno, five years or so, I've made the same Superbowl prediction, Eagles vs. Chargers. I don't think that's going to happen this year-- but more because of the Chargers then the Eagles, honestly. I think this is a pretty wide open year, with my hunch being that a lot of the traditional powers will take a step back, and that we'll see some surprising teams. Of course, that's pretty much what happens every year, doesn't it? Anyway, here's my division picks, and maybe even a Super Bowl pick, if I decide on one by the end of my typing. Naturally, we'll start in the most important place:

NFC East: Eagles, Redskins, Cowboys, Giants

You may detect some homerism here, and some wishful thinking. Well, fuck you. I'm sure as hell not picking the Cowboys. But, honestly, I do think the Cowboys are going to struggle more then most. Yeah, they finally had a late season breakthrough last year. Bully for them. Now do it again.

A lot of people seem to think that the Giants' collapse was an aberration, but c'mon, it happened in week six. Week after week they went out still in control of their own playoff fate, and week after week they looked like garbage. The Redskins, on the other hand, were a lot better last year then their record. They outplayed at least three playoff teams, including the eventual champion, but were unable to seal the deal. With McNabb and Shanahan, that shouldn't be a problem this year.

As for the Eagles, let's just say this: they'll be the surprise team in the league this year; Kevin Kolb will be the breakout star; Stewart Bradley will be All-Pro; and Andy Reid will (again) be coach of the year. That seems like a fair and balance prediction, right?

NFC South: Falcons, Saints, Panthers, Bucs

The Saints had a storybook year last year, but they're due for a tumble. The Falcons will follow a typical football pattern: breakout playoff year, followed by regression the next year, followed by a resurgence as a legit Super Bowl contender. The Panthers look to be slightly less shitty then the Bucs, so they'll be third. Advice to Bucs fan Dave Miller: definitely don't get the Sunday Ticket this year.

NFC North: Packers, Vikings, Lions, Bears

Everybody else is on the Packers bandwagon, so why not me? It would be lovely to see Brett Favre return just to see Aaron Rogers and co. leapfrog him. Heck, the Vikings have the smell of desperate team throwing everything against the wall to win, and imploding. Of course, so do the Bears. I think the Lions are headed in the right direction, and will be a pleasant surprise, and will even pass Chicago.

NFC West: 49ers, Seahawks, Cardinals, Rams

Yeah, the dogshit division (boy, I'm cursing a lot today, aren't I?). San Francisco looks to finally be legit again, but we've been fooled by them before. But I'm rooting for Mike Singletary, so they get the benefit of the doubt. Besides, everyone else will be somewhere between mediocre and terrible. The Cardinals are looking to replace Kurt Warner with the guy that couldn't hold down the Browns' job. The Browns. The Seahawks are in transition, so no one knows what to expect from them, but probably not much. And I will be forever mystified why Steve Spagnuolo, one of the hottest head coaching prospects after the Giants' Super Bowl year, decided to take the Rams job. Hope he gets another shot after he's fired for going 2-14 again.

AFC East: Patriots, Dolphins, Jets, Bills

I honestly do not like any team in this division this year. The Jets seem to me to be headed for a comeuppance. They are at act one of a Will Ferrell movie, where their hubris leads to their undoing. Next year's the year they come back humbler, wiser, better. The Patriots are definitely on the way down, but I guess there's enough left in the tank for another division title. I dunno. They benefited for years from the weakness around them, and they don't have that luxury any more. The Dolphins could definitely sneak back in, like they did two years ago, but I'm not big on them either. I suppose I should root for them, considering that Chad Henne is also an alum of Wilson High School.

Are the Buffalo Bills still in the NFL? They are, in the immortal words of Ned Flanders, the NFL's answer to a question no one asked.

AFC South: Texans, Colts, Titans, Jaguars

Yeah, I think this is the year the Texans finally break through, and that the Colts begin to regress. Peyton Manning absolutely carried them last year, in a way I've never seen before, and I just don't think he can do that again. Eventually, Jim Cauldwell's going to have to prove if he's an elite coach or not. I'll say not. I'm tempted to predict that the Titans will also jump over them, but I won't go that far. Maybe next year. At least they don't have to worry about the Jags, the NFL's...er.... answer to a question....

AFC North: Ravens, Steelers, Browns, Bengals

Also an interesting division. I think the Ravens are the real deal, and that Joe Flacco and Ray Rice are ready to take the next step (and I love John Harbaugh). The secondary is worrysome, though. It's very difficult to predict where the Steelers will end up, because even with Roethlesberger playing at the highest levels of his career, they still collapsed last year. I've never been a big Troy Polamalu guy, but I guess he really does make all the difference. As for last year's division champ, how can a team add both Pacman Jones and Terrell Owens and not implode? They made the playoffs because they went 6-0 in their division last year; that won't happen again. I like the direction the Browns are heading in; I think Jake Delhomme will provide them with competent quarterbacking, which will be enough to get them out of the basement.

AFC West: Chargers, Raiders, Broncos, Chiefs

The Chargers have had such a ridiculous advantage over the other elite teams of the NFL in terms of division foes over the last few years it's made us all overvalue them. No more. They'll still win the division, but not as handily. I seriously expect the Raiders to give them quite a run. I've always liked Jason Campbell, and think he got a bit of a raw deal in Washington. The Broncos will continue to regress, sadly for Brian Dawkins. The Chiefs are not the NFL's answer to a question nobody asked, but only because that's the Bills and the Jaguars.

So there you go. As for the playoffs, lets go with the Eagles, Falcons, Packers, Niners, Saints and Redskins in the NFC, and the Patriots, Titans, Ravens, Chargers, Colts, and Steelers in the AFC. And in the Super Bowl, how about the Ravens and... hmmm... let's see here... oh yeah, the Philadelphia freakin' Eagles. Can you guess who I like to win that game?

Brett Favre is a Teenage Girl

Well, looks like my prediction that Brett Favre wasn't really retiring was on the money. Golf clap for me. Honestly, I don't think anyone was particularly fooled this time, save perhaps the Minnesota Vikings. What's amazing to me is that, this time around, it took not only a personal visit from head coach Brad Childress, but the Vikings had to dispatch three of his teammates to Louisiana to bring him back. What, is he afraid to fly by himself? Did they have to hold his hand on the plane, gently stroking his grey beard while they whispered how much they love him? Did Farve rest his head on Steve Hutchinson's shoulder?

This is just sad now. I fully believe that Favre created all this drama because he didn't feel like he was getting enough attention, because everyone just assumed he'd be back. So he pouted and said "well, maybe I won't come back. After all, my ankle still hurts. Really really bad". So his team had to make a big deal about it, and all the reporters had to file Brett Favre stories until he felt loved enough. Childress even picked him up at the airport! I hope he at least brought one of those "B.Farve" signs.

Apologies to teenage girls for the comparison. And I swear, I swear, I will never write about Brett Favre again.

A Pointless Thought

Do you think Danica McKellar really hates Danica Patrick? I mean, she used to have the name Danica all to herself. She was a one name celebrity, like Madonna. And then along comes this race car chick, who's not even as cute, and all of a sudden she's Danica, and she's a one name celebrity, and it's like Danica McKellar never even existed, and Danica Patrick never even wins any races! That would make me mad.